Teacher Zhang Xuefeng Has Passed: Some Reflections
“If I die one day, my wish is not to be such a responsible person in the next life.” “There might be a hot search: ‘Zhang Xuefeng has died’… if lucky enough, I might become a generation’s memory.” These two lines of his impressed me most. The night before last, learning of his sudden death — though I had no contact with him, only occasionally caught video clips — I could not help but moisten my eyes. Writing this article is not to chase traffic. As a table tennis gear blogger, no need. Just some shared feeling and resonance.
1
A few days before Teacher Zhang Xuefeng’s death, Guotong Trust chairman Tang Jian also died of a heart attack, 55. This was a Newsweek report. Likewise, this morning I read China Newsweek, where Yu Donglai said 99% of entrepreneurs disregard their own lives, saying he himself started taking medicine at 30, and could go any day. I deeply resonate. I am of course no entrepreneur, but I count as a starter-upper. I deeply know its difficulty. My daily route is roughly: work, writing my account during work while handling hundreds of customer-service messages. Evening off, busy two hours at the workshop. Then home, dinner, caring for the kid until past nine or ten, then back to the workshop, busy until about 12. About at least 5 days a week like this. In this process, I rarely actively stop to rest over half an hour. I have lived months translating nearly ten thousand words a day (no AI translation then), days writing 10 pieces a day, and nights delivering to six or seven places — deeply feeling the difficulty of starting up. Maybe precisely because of obsession with themselves, starter-uppers and entrepreneurs succeed. What entrepreneurs achieve, and the anxiety and high pressure they face, are several notches higher. So essentially, letting yourself relax is not easy. Especially those who fought up from the bottom more easily demand high-pressure of themselves.
2
The day is others’; the night is your own. This is almost the inevitability of staying up. I recall hosting a themed class meeting in middle school. That day I said with feeling: we should best have something to look forward to each day, or it is hard to sleep at night. For us no-longer-students, whether employed or starting up, the day is always others’, so wanting to make up some inner lack by staying up is fair. Now you cannot even say “the night is your own,” because if you care for a kid, only after the kid sleeps is the late night your own. So a player in the group said his dad works until 11 or 12 each night before coming home. Home, he still scrolls the phone, until one or two — he does not know how to advise him. Basically, this is hard.
3
Though online evaluations of Teacher Zhang Xuefeng are divided, I still feel he was a good person. I also know that “good people get rewarded” has always been only a beautiful wish. Ultimately, whether good or bad people live long relates to many factors. One is how you treat your body and mind. If a bad person is psychologically at ease, sleeps soundly, and cares for his body, he may not be short-lived.
4
For oneself, death may not be complex — just playing a movie of your life in your mind before dying, then leaving some regrets. But for those around, especially family, it is very sad. Thinking of you, however many years later, there is still sorrow, still tears. Though a person is just an individual, bearing much loneliness and pain alone, you do not live only for yourself. For us players, many play late at night, then inevitably stay up, because most are busy in the day. Advising is hard. I can only say: start as early as possible, avoid exercise after 10. If truly tired, not playing may be better for you. Life is hard; if we cannot care for ourselves, then care for those around us. Only by mutual reminding will people not recklessly squander their bodies — whether the other is family or friend.