On the Passing of Zhang Xuefeng: Some Thoughts on Work, Life, and Rest
“If I die someday, my wish is to not be such a responsible person in my next life.”
“There might be a trending topic that reads ‘Zhang Xuefeng has passed away.’ If I’m lucky enough, maybe I’ll become a memory for a generation.”
Those two lines have stayed with me the most. Two nights ago, I heard the news of his sudden passing. I have no personal connection to him — I’ve only seen short video clips here and there — but my eyes still welled up.
I’m writing this not to chase traffic. As a table tennis gear blogger, that wouldn’t make sense. It’s more about shared feeling.
1
In the days before Zhang Xuefeng passed, Guotong Trust chairman Tang Jian also died of a heart attack — 55 years old. That was reported in the weekly news.
And that same morning, I read that Yu Donglai said 99% of business owners neglect their own health. He mentioned he’s been taking medication since he was 30 — could go at any time, he said.
I relate deeply to that. I’m not a business owner in any real sense, but I am someone who started something on my own. I know how hard it is.
A typical day for me: go to work, write my public account and handle a few hundred customer messages on the side, finish work in the evening, then two more hours at the studio. Go home, eat, take care of the kid until 9 or 10, then back to the studio until around midnight. At least five days a week like this. Rarely a break longer than half an hour in between.
I’ve had months where I translated close to 10,000 characters a day (back before AI translation), days where I wrote 10 posts, nights where I made deliveries to six or seven places. I feel the weight of what building something yourself actually costs. Maybe it’s exactly that obsessive drive that lets entrepreneurs succeed.
What business owners carry — the anxiety and pressure — is on a whole different level. Letting yourself relax isn’t easy when you’re wired that way. Even more so if you built yourself up from the bottom.
2
The daytime belongs to everyone else. The night is yours. That’s almost an inevitability when it comes to staying up late.
I remember back in middle school, hosting a class meeting. I said something offhand: it’s good to have something you look forward to each day — otherwise it’s hard to fall asleep at night.
For those of us who are no longer students, whether working for someone or building something ourselves, the daytime is always for others. Staying up late to reclaim a little bit of what’s missing inside — that’s understandable. And now you can’t even say “the night is yours” — if you have kids, the late-night hours are truly yours only after the kids are asleep.
A reader in the group mentioned his dad works until 11 or 12 every night before coming home, then still scrolls his phone until 1 or 2 in the morning. He didn’t know how to talk him out of it. Honestly, that’s almost impossible.
3
Online opinions about Zhang Xuefeng were divided, but I still believe he was a good person.
I also know that “good people are rewarded” is just a hope, not a guarantee. Ultimately, whether someone is good or bad, and whether they live long, depends on many things. One of them is how you treat your own body and mind. If a not-so-good person sleeps soundly without guilt and takes care of themselves physically, they won’t necessarily die young.
4
Death itself may not be complicated — just a mental movie of your life playing out before the end, leaving only some regrets behind.
But for the people around you, especially family, it’s devastating. Years later, whenever they think of you, there will still be a shadow of grief, still tears. A person is just an individual, and much of the loneliness and pain must be carried alone — but we’re not only living for ourselves.
For those of us in table tennis, late-night sessions are common, and staying up late often follows. It’s hard to tell anyone not to. All I can say is: try to start earlier, and after 10 PM, try not to exercise. If you’re truly exhausted, skipping a session might actually be better for you.
Life is hard. If taking care of yourself is difficult, at least look out for the people around you. Reminding each other is what keeps us from treating our bodies however we feel like it — whether that person is family or a friend.
